The Emergent Self

Questioning what we're told it means to be human

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Blog

Shorter notes, questions, and reflections. Thinking out loud, with room for your responses.

We Won. Now Comes the Harder Part.

Democrats won big on Tuesday, and I celebrated. Then I thought about my friends who voted the other way. What we do with this win will matter more than the win itself.
An open wooden garden gate in a stone wall with a bicycle, old novels, a rotary telephone and a tablet leaning beside it

First They Laugh: The Stigma That Greets Every New Technology

My friends laugh at me for talking to my computers. They laughed at the bicycle, the novel, the test tube, and the dating site too. The stigma that greets every new technology is never really about the tool.
Painting of a Black boy gazing through a window at a fenced public swimming pool on a summer afternoon

I’m White, and I Don’t Have to See Color

"I don't see color" is usually offered as a promise of fairness. For many White people, it may really be a description of privilege.
Why flatterers turn on you: an illustration of a conference table where employees hold smiling masks in front of wary faces as they turn toward the boss at the head of the table.

Why Flatterers Turn on You

The person who flatters you most may be the one most likely to turn on you. A meeting I came to dread, the research behind it, and why the truth people can’t tell you goes somewhere else.
An older White woman in a Sunday coat and hat stands in a sunlit church, seen from behind, looking up at a large Haitian-style creation tapestry of Black figures, animals and a golden sun

A God You Can Keep in a ZIP Code

A parishioner once told me a tapestry did not belong in church because there were no White people in it. Thirty years later I have the words for what she was defending: not God, but a mascot.
Watercolor of a man seen from behind on a bench in a dim office break room, a second coffee cup set beside him as dawn light comes through the window, asking whether depression was really a gift

Was My Depression Really a Gift?

Was my depression really a gift? A former priest tests his own claim that the dark years after he left the priesthood were a gift.
Watercolor of a front door standing open onto a stone step, where a covered dish has been left, suggesting I'll pray for you as a doorway to showing up

Is “I’ll Pray for You” Ever Enough?

Is "I'll pray for you" ever enough? A former priest weighs the honest case for prayer and asks readers when those words open a door.
A hiker stands alone on a misty hilltop at dawn while faint, ghostly figures along the path below help others climb, steady a ladder, open a gate, and point the way

Nobody Is Self-Made

The phrase “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” began as a joke. Why nobody is truly self-made, and what privilege and intersectionality reveal about success.
Young man driving through a small town at dusk on graduation night, cap, gown and diploma on the seat beside him

“You’ll Be a Factory Line Worker”: Overcoming Humiliation and Becoming Who You Are

My high school guidance counselor told me I’d be a factory line worker for the rest of my life. Here’s what that moment taught me about humiliation, and about choosing my own story.